RIP Dr Wayne Dyer - The man I've never met yet who changed my life.

My friend emailed me on Monday night asking if I had heard the news of Dr Wayne Dyers passing.

I hadn't I had but as soon as I read the email, I cried.

I cried over a man I'd never met and didn't know personally, yet despite this, his work has had a profound and long lasting effect on my life.

In 2010 life as I knew it changed and I felt like I was a broken soul, I was so sad, totally lost and I vividly remember thinking I'd never smile again. Sounds dramatic but I remember laying on my bed after leaving hospital in so much pain thinking It would never be possible to heal from the sadness that seem to had swallowed me whole.

A friend one day told me you need to read this book, the book was Dr Wayne Dyers your erroneous zone - how to escape negative thinking and take control of your life.

It's the book that really did make me see the error of my thinking, I think all my life I had believed that my worth came from other people, that if people didn't like me I wasn't of value or their must be something wrong with me. I believed that my weight dictated my lovability. I had a lots of erroneous zones.

The book gave me hope, it helped me see that there was another way of thinking, and just because I currently felt that way didn't mean I would always feel that way. The book allowed me and showed me that I could change my thoughts and that I was responsible for how I viewed events and the meaning I gave them.

One of my all time favourite quotes of Dr Wayne dyers is "When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change"

I started to think that what if everything that had happened to me was for my greater good? Even the bad stuff.....especially the bad stuff.

Five years on I can say all of the pain, the sadness has dissolved. It's been healed, however I think it's so important to talk about pain and depression that took over my life because too many people suffer alone in silence feeling like there is something wrong with them.

Of course there are times when my old erroneous zones pop up but I no longer dwell on my thoughts like i previously did - I know I have the power to change them to work for me.

To many people suffer in sadness because they fear being labeled crazy, they fear being judged, they fear too many things.

For the longest time I didn't want to admit I was depressed but I was, I mean what happy person doesn't think that they will never smile again.

I thankfully no longer suffer from depression, does it mean I will never again? I can't say that for sure but what I do know is the more i feed my mind thoughts that feel good, nourish my body with whole food and fuel my soul by living my passion the less likely that is too happen. Now some may say I over simply thing, and what worked for me may not work for others, but we must be so careful of how we feed our minds, the thoughts we think can dictate and shape our life. We can limit our life out of fear.

In my darkest days the most I would do was get out of bed, I remember my sister actually clapping and dancing around the lounge once when she came to visiting me all because she saw I was up and showered! That's how bad I once was, but I'm not that person anymore.

Dr Wayne dyers book helped me realise that the thought I had been thinking we harming me not helping me or allowing me to heal.

I think one of the last book that Dr Wayne Dyer wrote was one called don't die with music still in you, for the longest time I was alive but not living, when you hear of someone's death it can shake you and make you realise that life is so fleeting.

Here are a few of the most lessons I learn from the book

Trust yourself Don't look outside of yourself for worth, self worth comes from self, it's based on what you think of yourself - if your worth it's from others it's other worth not Self worth.

When we spend too much time worrying about what other people think of us we give up our power and this is counterproductive.

We need to deeper the connection with ourself and trust that connection.

We need to step out of comfort and into growth.

Action cures fear - when we take positive steps in the direction we know is right for us good things happen.

Dr Wayne Dyer - you sure did shine your light and light up the world, you message will live on. Despite never meeting you or knowing you personally your written work helped me changed my life and for that I will always be grateful.

They called me a Fat nutritionist, here is what I think of that!

When cruel words are spoken and doubt kicks in! 

Last night I looked at Twitter and here are some of the comments that were written about me 

"She's not even thin"
"She's a Fat nutritionist"
"If she's so healthy why is she so fat"

There were just some of the milder comments that were on my Twitter last night

At first It was a hard to read as someone who spent almost two decades hating her reflection it was almost like having my worst fears confirmed, everyone thinks I'm unattractive was my first thought with so many people telling me my body isn't acceptable it was hard to feel positive. It wasn't so nice and if I'm honest, in fact some of the comments made me feel a little bit like crying. It's taken me a really long time to not only like how I look but actually really appreciate and have love for my body. My ego went into overdrive when I read the comments and again if I'm honest my initial reaction was to hide away.

However, my current job is one where I help women and girls love themselves to health so I needed to become my own best friend and had to have a kind compassionate word to myself and take my own advice! Yes I am a nutritionist and I'm not ashamed to say I'm a good one, I know because people regularly tell me. Clients thank me and praise me for the advice I've given them and say the advice has helped them change their life. I've helped clients come off diabetic medication, come off anti- depressants and my favourite was a lady who had been trying to get pregnant for 7 years and conceived naturally after changing her diet for three months!!

My weight doesn't affect my brains ability to think to know or understand. No I'm not a size 8 I may not be a stereotypical ‘thin’ nutritionist I am actually a size 12 and I'm healthy and a knowledgeable nutritionist. So whilst some people may make unkind comments about my weight - I no longer hate my body the way I spent so many years doing.

You see, I now have a fully functioning body I was diagnosed at 24 with poly cystic ovary syndrome and told if I wanted children I would need IVF however a recent scan showed I no longer have the condition & I now have regular periods. I also spent a lot of my twenties depressed whereas I now wake up happy - happy to be alive, thankful to live and grateful for my body. Do I have dips in my mood? – Yes of course I do - I am human, but to me my happiness is no longer controlled by my reflection nor on someone else option of my body and that in itself is a revelation.

I like my body, no - make that - I love my body it's fully functioning! It's a vessel how it looks or what size I am is not the sole focus of my life anymore. And trust me for the longest time it was, I've put off so many thing and not done things for exactly that reason the fear of what people would think or say about me but that wasn't living at all that was hiding, it was silly, it was restrictive and it wasn't fun. In order to practise what I preach I had to have a compassionate word with myself which helped me to conquered my returning body demons, I have learnt to see that my weight is not my worth, and believe me for the longest time I truly did think my physical looks were what made me lovable or not.

We live in a world where girls are constantly told they need to look a particular way to be loved and this is so sad. We body bash and body shame women every day you only have to look at blogs, newspapers, magazines and even the TV women worldwide are constantly body bashed firstly for gaining weight secondly for losing weight they can't win, one minute they are too fat the next too thin and even if they look drop dead gorgeous the papers then print stories about how they rate their hair, dress or something else they can take them down on. The media constantly criticises. It's sad and it needs to stop, why can't we embrace the bodies we have and focus on health not weight?

Weight doesn't indicate someone’s health. I see many women who's height to weight ratio means they should be perfectly healthy however many of these women and girls sit in my office crying telling me they under eat, binge and then over exercise to compensate and hate the way they look. This is far from healthy. I've been both heavier and slimmer in fact there was a time where I didn't eat any solid food for possibly around 8 weeks or so I lost around three stone and everyone told me how good I looked - I was in fact pretty ill, constantly cold and very depressed but all people told me was I looked nice!! This is a very warped world to live in and a tragic message to send to young girls and women.

I see a lot of girls in my clinic with distorted body image and borderline eating disorders and I believe that we as a nation really need to act out of kindness more often. Praise people for their talents, their kindness not for good genetics or their current eating habits.

Why are people so happy to throw about unkind words? Words can be like weapons they can wound sometimes, whilst we can choose how we interpret them, sometimes they hit a nerve and logic is lost. Words can and do hurt but we as women can unit and change this. Personally I believe as women we need to become kinder firstly to ourselves and then to other women we need to stand united and act out of kindness and respect. I'm not sure that being mean to anyone ever made anyone a better person.

Some may argue that going on a TV show was me just opening myself up for criticism. However I don't see it that way, why do we have to bench mark every woman on the way she looks? So what if I'm a few pounds heavier than people think I should be - my health is the best it's ever been. I'm no longer depressed, I have regular periods, if that means some people don't like my body then you know what I'm OK with that.

Self esteem comes from self, a few years ago this would have shattered me in a way I can't even articulate. There were so many cruel comments from people - however the reality is these people don't know me they've never met me so why should I really put that much importance on what they think of me. It's not their job to love my body after all it's mine. Whilst it's never nice to read unkind things about yourself and I'm not going to pretend they didn't hurt - momentarily it did.

The old wounds reopened and I fleetingly questioned myself. But such is life, my doctor thinks I'm a healthy weight for my height, I have a healthy body and for once I'm generally happy in my own skin. I never weigh myself anymore I used to weigh myself religiously a few times a day. That's stopped. My worth is not based on my weight anymore.

Wouldn't the world be a nicer place if people weren't quick to judge or be so critical of others? I wonder what it would be like to live in a world where women were encouraged to love their bodies no matter what their shape or size? However this body bashing of all shapes and sizes needs to stop in all forms. Thin, fat, curvy are all too often used in a derogatory manner that sends out the message that they are not good enough, not worthy and needs to be different. We as women need to love ourselves more and we need to teach others what's acceptable and what's not. If we don't love ourselves we live in a place of comparing ourselves and judging others and they are never good route to go down. If we constantly criticise our bodies it almost gives others permission to treat us the same.

Life is so short, so fleeting, some people will hate you some people will love you. Your job is to ignore the haters, surround yourself with people that love you and don't let anyone tell you how you should look. Healthy is the aim of the game not a number on the scales.

Feed your mind with thoughts that feel good.

Nourish your body with foods that are natural and delicious.

Fuel your soul by shining your light and living your passions.

Life is too short to be lived any other way. I personally think it would be heaven on earth if humans could treat everyone the way they wanted to be treated and speak only words they would like to have spoken back to them. So today I'm going to leave you with one thought - How beautiful would you be if the words you spoke and the comments you made appeared on your skin? Would it show that you’re compassionate, caring and kind OR judgmental, cruel and mean? I know where I'd rather be.

Eat to be Happy #TheBigFestival

CAN FOOD REALLY AFFECT MY MOOD?

Im sure you have heard the saying you are what you eat, and whilst we may believe it to some extent how often do you associate your bad mood with what you ate for lunch? 

Do you link your insomnia to your diet?

Have you ever thought that the road rage you feel could be related to your daily addiction to a large latte every mooring and afternoon?

All to often we go about our day prehaps your counting calories, or maybe you are mildly conscious of the food you eat, picking a salad over KFC for lunch has to be healthier right? or perhaps you've swapped your daily chocolate bar for dried fruit. 

But do you know that cravings, mood swings are very closely related to how we eat and what we eat? 

We can manipulate the way we eat, and pick whole foods that naturally promotes a good mood and balanced thoughts. We can pick foods that help our body naturally produce more of the feel good chemicals we need. 

WE REALLY CAN EAT OURSELVES HAPPY and I can show you how!

If you would like to learn how you can eat to be happy please come along to my talk next Friday August the 28th at noon I will be talking about the three ways you can eat yourself happy and be showing your specific food that can help change your mood.

You can get tickets over on Jamie Olivers The Big Festival website http://www.jamieoliver.com/thebigfeastival/

I would love to see you there, my talk is kindly being sponsored by Optibac probiotics, the primal kitchen and Kilner - and the first twenty people that come to my talk will get a lovely goodie bag full with food and products!

Are you the person you want to be?

Are you being the person you want to be? This weekend my friend and I were out having coffee. When one of the most beautiful female I've possibly ever seen ran passed us. We both stopped to stared at her, yes I will admit we turned around and still stared as she effortlessly ran passed us both.

She was wearing a short sport crop top and running shorts and she was tanned, toned and fit in every sense of the word. "Wow" we both exclaimed in unison!

"Now if I had a body like her Id go running every day!" My friend commented I was quick to reply "me too!"

Then it suddenly dawned on me if I did go running everyday I would be far more likely to have a body like that.

Talk about stating the obvious! However this blatantly obvious fact was one that had escaped my brain before. How I'm not sure but hey such is life.

I am not a naturally fit person I have a very limited desire to run other than if someone is chasing me. On top of this I have a massive fear of the gym, I feel shy and body conscious when entering any gym like building! It could be due to being forced to ridiculously revealing gym knickers during secondary school or maybe I'm just a lazy bones! Who knows and it's not relevant today, all that matters is what I do about it.

Do I repeat the patterns of a life time or do I challange them?

after this conversation with my friend I have decided to start moving my body more. I'm a great one to preach about feeling the fear and doing it anyway. Yet when it came to working out I can rationalise to myself why I can't go running, bad for my knees etc

This morning my alarm was set an hour earlier than normal, the birds were chirping and the sun was shining. I really didn't want to get out of bed, however I told myself to just move. Don't think, don't analyse just go before your brain talks you out of it.

Showing up is my new phrase. I need to show up to opportunities, but also I need to show up for myself.

Exercising is now going to be my way of showing my body I love it.

Is there something in your life that you are waiting for?

Oh I'll do that when I'm a stone lighter maybe it's not even related to your weight maybe your putting of going somewhere or something until you have more money have a better job or have a partner.

Don't wait! Life doesn't wait for us sometimes you just have to in the words of Nike "do it"

Do something today that your future self will thank you for!

Self Sabotage and Just Showing up!!

Sometimes all you have to do is show up!  Do you ever self sabotage?

Today I almost did just that!

I was recently offered a my own Radio show on a local radio station (Oystermouth radio)- Yes you've got that right a chance for me to have my own show,I mean how blinking amazing is that? However I spent the whole day trying to think of a way to get out of going to the meeting!

SAY WHAT?!

Yes all day, it was as if fear was being pumped through my body, so I had to have a serious word with myself.

What are you scared of? Is the first question I asked myself.

Well firstly I am what is known as technologically challenged, I set alarms off in shops, get electric shocks of thing and generally anything electric goes a bit crazy around me.

Shes electric has a whole different meaning where I am concerned.So I was worried I wouldn't be able to work the computers.

However that was just the superficial worries, I guess my biggest concern if I am being totally honest is what will people think? I mean who exactly do I think I am to have a radio show?

I guess this is just my crazy ego trying to trip me up and me trying to self sabotage myself!

I'm a qualified nutritionist I help people feed their minds, nourish their bodies and fuel their souls............day in day out -that's who I am!

After I had this chat with myself examining my fears I realised that this is me being pushed out of my comfort zone and we all know that the zone of growth is where the magic happens right? So I had to suck it up, feel the fear and do it anyway!

Is there something you want to do but stop yourself out of fear of what people may think?

Are you blocking your own success?

Once we have identifies how we get in our own way, we can challenge our view and our perception and put things in place to get out of our own way!

So I sent a text to guys at the Radio show telling them I was feeling really nervous about learning how the equipment worked and my nerves were put at ease and I was told I would have support every step of the way!

There is a Famous poem by Marianne Williamson in which she says ''Your playing small doesn't serve the world. There is nothing enlightening about shrinking so that other people wont feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine.''

It was this that made me realise that I was trying to shrink myself out of fear, fear of what people would say, fear of not being able to use the equipment etc. I realised that I was playing small and me playing small wasnt going to help anyone!

So I got dressed and showed up!

The best part? I had the most amazing time!

So I am please to Announce that Tuesday the 21 of April 2015 at 7pm My first radio show The Food Remedy will be on air!!! Feed your mind, Nourish your body and Fuel your soul.

To listen click here Tuesday 21 of April 2015 at 7 pm UK time!

http://www.oystermouthradio.com/listen-live.html#.VS7kpfnF-48