THIS IS MY YEAR,
Now when you hear how my year has gone so far you may wonder if I'm actually a little mad. You see I started 2016 pregnant, my partner and I were over the moon, so super excited for the new addition we were going to be a proper little family, we found a house to move into to start our family in and everything was so joyful and exhilarating.
Then just when you think everything is going right fate intervenes and things well just don't go the way you thought they were going. I woke up one day and had a dreadful feeling I was no longer pregnant, I tried to get over this horrible feeling but a scan four days later showed problems, I had to wait another week to know for sure and I cannot tell you how long that week seemed. A week later It was confirmed the baby wasn't alive, I had experienced a silent miscarriage.
My hopes of becoming a mum dashed grief and sadness swept over me, then the next thing to happen was the friend who house we were going to rent told us she had decided to rented it to a single mother as she had offered more money. Life was certainly not going as planned, a few weeks after that the relationship was under strain and sadly no longer working like it once had my partner left and we went our separate ways.
Single once again, 2016 really wasn't going to plan, shattered, disillusioned and seriously pissed off with life, I cried until I could cry no more and was actually starting to annoy myself.
Having experienced my rock bottom 6 years ago, I reread what I did then, how I coped how I moved on, I realised I had a choice, I could sign the rest of this year off as being the worst of my life or I could try and make it have a better ending than beginning.
So often we waste precious years of our lives being someone that we don't want to be. We allow the scars of the past and the people who have wronged us, the people who have hurt us to dictate what we do today.
We give up on opportunities because of these past hurts and their is so much opportunity out their for us if only we weren't so scared of being hurt again. All to often we get stuck in the past, we allow outdated beliefs of ourselves and allow the memories of past relationships to affect what we do today. We falsely believe we are not good enough, slim enough, pretty enough, lovable enough, clever enough or whatever your not enough is. We may wrongly think were are too ugly, fat or stupid to pursue our dreams.
We then allow these false thoughts to take over our lives and its a tragedy. The past is gone its done, the future however is your for the taking, We have these precious years to live, and they can be the most magical incredible years to live if we don't allow ourselves to be controlled by our insecurities and past hurts.
Its very easy to throw away these incredible years away by allow the people of our past, the peoplethat have wronged us or hurt us to control our decisions today but THIS DOES NOT HAVE TO HAPPEN!
If you want to move past this now this year - YOU HAVE THE POWER!
YOU HAVE THE POWER TOO MAKE THAT DECISION IN YOUR MIND NOW!
You can decide that this will be a different year.
This year has not gone to that plan I had in my mind, however I know that if I accept where I am right now however hard it is and set my mind to move on, I can make the changed and progress to grow.
That decision is mine and mine alone to make.
I can decide how the rest of the year will go, my story isn't over.
I get to decide how it ends, so often when things go wrong its easy close yourself off to new opportunities, don't let pain make you close up, allow it to open you up.
The year maybe a quarter of the way threw and it may not have gone how you planned, hoped or wished or expected it to go, but the year isn't over yet.
You have the power to change the way you year will end. Don't be one of the people who writes of the year before were even half way threw it!
This could be one of the most magical years yet, if you decide that is what it is going to be.
All that is required is a decision to change, don't sit back waiting, hoping praying and dreaming things were different, in fact don't wait anymore now is the time to create!
Think about what you want in your life, what do you want to happen>
what do you want to bring to life?
Its time to take a risk, i know your scared but don't let that fear hold you back anymore.
do what others wont do!
See the person you really want to be feel excited at the life you are creating and now get up and take small steps everyday to make that dream life become your reality.
You owe it to yourself to live a life you love.