Most of us understand that if someone had a challenging or difficult childhood it can affect them in their adult lives.

For example a child who an alcoholic parent, or has suffered from violence or sexual abuse often at the hands of those they trusted can cause many implications long after the event has long gone. Some children are sadly exposed to things children shouldn't be.

Trauma in children can adversely affect the way the brain develops leading to extremes in mood including but not limited to anxiety or depression and it can also cause a great deal of difficulty controlling emotions too.

When we know about someones past we can often understand or try to understand why people may act a certain way or behave in a certain way because of their formative years. However as adults we also have the responsibility to control our thoughts, emotions and behaviour and endeavour to overcome the past. Other wise the past can negatively impact the present as people who they met won't be able to see past what they consider irrational behaviour.

There are also adults who have been hurt and influenced by unhealthy or toxic relationships. The woman or man who has been subject to an unfaithful partner or been emotionally/physically abused certainly can also impact the present.

It can make relationships harder to form due to the conditioning the brain has received, people can have a very real fear of getting hurt again or the past can making it more difficult for them to for healthy levels of trust - which is the building block of any relationship.

Our past can and very often does influence everything in our present from our brain chemistry to our biochemistry. However when we recognise this we have the power to change.

So what do we do?

Your past unhappiness doesn't have to make your present unhappy too.

With some personal, deep soul-searching, you can heal from the past and overcome  what was and change your present and future life to include stability and happiness.

There are various techniques that can help you become a happier, spirit-healthy adult.

As adult we have the power to reprogram our brains, to change the way we view things. We can learn how to respond to situations that trigger us instead of reacting which is almost always explosive.

In recent research neuroscientists have got one step closer to understanding the nuts and bolts of how your mind processed emotions. An MIT team identified two neural connections in the brain's amygdala regions that process positive and negative emotional events. By tagging neuron groups with a light-sensitive protein, they discovered that the neurons form parallel but complex channels that respond differently to given situations. Some neurons within one of those connections will be excited by a feeling, while others will be inhibited -- the combination of those reactions in a given channel may determine the emotion you experience.

Neuroplasticity has become the latest buzzword in psychology and scientific circles, helping us understand that the brain is able to change circuits and you can “re-wire” your brain to improve everything from health and mental wellbeing to quality of life.

So how do you overcome your past and stop letting it interfere with the present?

The thing is this isn't a one size fits all approach there are many different ways to help encourage neuroplastic change,

Things like thought records, meditation, yoga, exercise, nutritional therapy, mindfulness and cognitive behavioural therapy, can all have a positive effect.

The human brain is for me the most fascinating and impressive organ of the human body. I find it so interesting to learn about people and love nothing more than watching TED talks and connecting with people who have not only survived but thrived through the most challenging of circumstances.

Even if you don't know it, your brain is constantly adapting and your thoughts and behaviours influence this process.

The great thing is we are in control of our thoughts, we can challenge the way we perceive events and we can choose to see things in a different way.

When we repeatedly think certain thought they often become a belief and also during this process a connection called a neural  pathway is created.

Just think of your brain as a dynamic, connected power grid, with billions of roads and pathways lighting up every time you think, feel or do something.

Some of these roads are well travelled. These are your habits; your established ways of thinking, feeling and doing. Every time you think in a certain way, practice a particular task, or feel a specific emotion, you strengthen this road, and it becomes easier for your brain to travel this pathway. This is why repeated trauma can be problematic but at the same time by re learning habits you can condition yourself differently.

Once you understand the power of your thoughts and that repeated behaviour is causing certain situations you then have the power to change your thought which ultimately over the long term can mean you move past your limitations and live a life that isn't influenced by your past pain.

For me life is about connection, it's all about relationships and I don't just mean romantic relationships I mean all relationships from friends to family to lovers to the person you see every Tuesday at the gym! It's about connection to others.

Sometimes things happen and you behave in a way that repels people due to your own issues and past, there are two ways you can look at this, you can shame yourself or you can use it as an opportunity to grow and develop.

Shame keeps you stuck where as an opportunity has potential for growth.

I believe we met people for a reason sometimes it's for them sometimes ifs for you sometimes it's for both.

So if you have behaved or you keep behaving in a way that you believe stems from your past, don't worry your future as long as your committed to grow and self exploration it can be the greatest catalyst for your grow.

Sometimes our behaviour or reactions and our responses can quite literally repel people but when this happens don't beat yourself up, learn and commit to change.

Also don't beg, chase or run after people, the right people will listen and be there because they will get it. Empathy resolves shame and sometimes you just have to give yourself the gift of empathy. You are not for everyone and not everyone is for you so at some point in life we all experience rejection we all suffer loss and we all grieve that.

Your future is not here yet and you have the power to create a life that is free from past struggles free from limiting beliefs, so whatever has happened is over and with the right help you can recover and relearn healthy habits that will attract the right people into your life so have faith and believe that change is possible.

If you want to learn more about how I recovered from my past why don't you download my free ebook today click the link here

Or alternative I offer VIP intensive days or three month coaching  packages where I can help you feed your mind, nourish your body and fuel your soul. To find out more drop me an email at 


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